its been such a long time since my last post, Havent really had the time to get here or to anywhere really.

have you ever felt unappreciated or questioned and in a position you never really knew how you got to or how to get out of.

well i guess i'm there now. and i really dont know how i got here.
it'sjust how i feel, that i've spent so much of our time together fitting into his life that maybe i forgot a little bit about mine. but then again..was there ever a real life i had?

i've been trying so hard to give him something he wants so much but at the same time i feel that the kind of love he needs is the kind of love i cant give and only she can give. even if he hated it.. i mean.. it made him feel loved didnt it.

he says he doesnt feel i love him. but has he ever though that maybe he was more ready than i was to love again? and now i have to tell him to just stop stressing and free fall but he doesnt listen. so does this mean that i dont listen to him and he doesnt listen to me? or that im way in over my head here and im not the one who can give him what he wants.

she used to love you so much she'd go paranoid. she used to love you so much she wanted to be all around you. she used to love you so much that she never gave you the space you needed.

i love you so much i trust you. i love you so much i let you have time for yourself. i love you so much i give you your space.

and yet all im doing, which is also all you said you needed, is what isnt enough for this relationship.

sometimes i wonder if you think of her more than you think of me. trust me.. i have been loving you.. more than you know.. and it hurts the fuck out of me

Just me (eLiz)