Am i being selfish when i just want you for myself? Nowadays there are so many distractions. Your best friend is single. and he's kind of a little poor thing cause he's sad. i understand. but i can feel it slowly stealing you away from me.

You're so different. Or maybe it's just called progression. Of every single relationship.

Well, even your best friend's sister, whom you claimed.. i repeat. WHOM YOU CLAIMED WAS JUST D'S SISTER, half a year ago has now leveled up to be your best friend. But thats fine also.


Is it really fine? i mean... i go on saying everything is fine.. even when i feel like shit.

I hate that they wake you up at 4 in the mrn and i cant.
I hate that you hang up while talking to me just cause they are outside.
I hate that i'm not the best in everyone's eyes, especially the people that matter to you.
I hate that your family is so different, so hard to get 'family' with.
I hate that you have a past
I hate that im haunted by your past
I hate that i feel like shit
I hate that i feel like you are slowly falling out of love with me
I hate that sometimes i have to message a close friend just to feel worthy of being on earth again.
I hate that i alone am not enough.
I hate that you live so far away and always ask me to stay later but you yourself go home so early.
I hate that you have so many other things going on in your mind when you're with me.
I hate that you dont listen to me sometimes
I hate that you just had to message both of them on christmas
I hate that i love you so much that everything i swore would never affect me cause i never want to feel pain again is hurting me so much.

I hate that i fell in love with you
I hate that i wanted this so much i nearly said no.
I hate that i said yes.


why do i love you so much?

Just me (eLiz)