many things have been going through my head. like at trg. it isnt really the best place for me to be right now.

honestly my ankles hurt like crazy. i can feel my knees giving up on me. and i go to training even though i'm sick as a dog.

all for what. i mean all i can remember about the last trg was not being able to breathe and crying becasue something really hit me like a stick in my heart.

i've worked on my skills for 6 years. and not once have i given up. yea sure i fall. but i always pull myself up. i've been standing alone for so long. i've had people who pretended to be there and when i'm really down they dont give a fuck. but.. then life goes on.

and to see it stripped from you like so simply by someone else.. someone who has no experience. who has no attitude to learn. who is so free spirited she cant use her fucking head. well.. i'd gladly give up what i have to someone who's so much better than me.. but.. ha.. go figure.


and now.. i saw jody was happy with a new friend and i glady said ok.. i'll just let someone in for a change and haha.. go figure.

and ya.. dont talk about guys. he was just a piece of shit i never even considered. i knew this was going to happen. cute girls and fucked up guys. lucky i didnt even care. at least it doesnt hurt so much.

it hurts.. but not so much.

Just me (eLiz)