hello. well tournaments.. they tell alot about people sometimes. and there's this player from sp who really caught my attention. okok.. let me relax. she's dam zai! hahaha.

reminds me a lot of the times i used to be back in "glory days" when there was the make-sure-it's-a-perfect-ball attitude. i got to get it back.

i never realised how much tournaments meant to me. i mean sure ya.. omg tournament i got to win it for my school for my team mainly and all that. but then.. i realised today that they can either make you or break you.

It broke me. Yet again. i'm broken. hahaha. when you have nothing else and you give your whole heart to something. the something you think that you'd have a better chance of not breaking your heart with. hahaha. just like those o level humanities things and you bang on topics.

yea anyways. you still get crushed. haha. right now. i cant put the ball down. but i cant have it as well.

there was this lil girl who never knew where she belonged becasue she didnt feel like she fitted in anywhere. well i dont want to be that lil girl anymore. and everytime something pulls me down.. there's nothing for me to lean on. hahaha. the feeling really sucks.

so... i have thought about my new year resolution. Maybe it should be something like. getting my strength to fight and spirit back. hahaha.. like how i played with alliance.. it should be like that and no matter what happens.. i'll keep fighting right.

yes i'm going to get myself back. no more weak days. no more bad trainings. no more shit.

maybe.. just maybe then i really wouldnt feel so empty anymore. hahaha. that's probably all i need for now. to ace in vb. maybe i could do it by myself and hopefully it would be sufficient. =))

OK SO REDUCTION OF EMO POSTS STARTING FROM TODAY. EXCUSING THE DAYS I HAVE BAD MOODS

cramps cramps cramps.

Just me (eLiz)