i'm beginning to think of life.. of my life. and yea.. it's no use living a life that someone else can live so much better than you can. Everyday i come home and think that maybe it'll be a better day.. a better day for her.. for all of us.

that's just a dream. yea. my siblings always say they suffer more than i do. oh please.. they're never home. and all i can ever dream of is having that one night away from my life. one night away from all the shit load that is thrust upon me by this fucking cruel world.

I used to think that everything happened for a reason right.. and recently i've done things that i'm not very proud of. things like questioning higher powers and all that. why me. why me why me.

You know i love home. i'm a very home person. there's nothing more i love than staying home and watching dvds and cooking or baking or just lying in bed.. but she makes it so hard. they make it so hard.

Mark said to me.. you're not a very home person are you. haha. man are there things people will never know. i'm so tired of all the bullshit that i have to go through.

i always thought that if i gave in all the time then there'd probably be some peace in this house. just keep smiling liz.. there are brighter days.

I HATE COMING HOME. TO THIS PLCE THEY CALL HOME. IT'S CERTAINLY NOT MY HOME. I HAVE NO HOME.

i'm really really tired.. and i've really really had enough. enough to just kill my mum my sister and my dad to get some peace. i need the great escape right now. i need a plan

i've lost my drive. i lost myself. i've lost all hope. and now i dont mind losing a home and a family i wouldnt exactly say i ever had. yea sure they've been there when i was down. but they've made me more down than i could ever have been. i dont know what i'm doing anymore

i think of consequences. i think of every little detail of every aspect before i do something and maybe i'm not enjoying my life because i'm thinking of everything. It's time to do things my way. i hope i'm strong enough to at least try to do things my way..

everyone's trying to talk to me right now. and all i can think of is leave me alone. i'm not even allowed to take a walk. what mum dad.. dont tell me you're afraid i'd go missing.. casue even if i did.. you wouldnt notice.. you'd be too busy biting each others heads off

it fucking took you one day to realise your phone was gone.

i just want to disappear for a moment or stop time.

disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear.. disappear..

Just me (eLiz)