now lenny is leaving.

i knew. this was probably too good to be true. i was going to get close to sue to. with lenny. linda. sue. Before this i felt there was a boundary between sue and i. but somehow. i always knew there was more to her. and i was prepared to see it. With lenny by my side. i knew then after that. everything would fit in perfectly. but just like everything else. Nothing i plan falls into perfect positioning. lenny's leaving.

LENNY.. she's leaving.

Leza. my hero. my strength. i was proud to be all that to her. just like how she was all that to me. But when she left. i stayed strong in front of her. seeing her cry borke my heart when we hugged. but i stayed strong.

my heart was broken.

Then fafa. though she was before leza. she was the first one who spoke to me. who opened up to me. she seeked strength and hope. help from my own experiences. i was glad to be there for her. and it was her who showed me that my experiences were for a good reason. - to help the people around me stand again when they've fallen.

Now it's lenny. i was going to get close to sue for me for her for all of us. we'd be a happy family. DREAMS. they dont come cheap. this also proves.

-they dont come easy.

I never thought my heart could break once. twice. three times and yet again. a fourth. this would be 7 strikes in a row. in the past 4-5 months.

pretty perfect huh.

at the chalet today with gab and nyp friends. i saw something i knew i'd nvr have. the boyfriend who'd let me sit on him in the presence of his family. his friends. and carry her to the balcony to watch nothing. stare into space. haha. it was funny. and sweet

i'd nvr feel how they feel casue i nvr get what i want with what i plan. i always get the best of the 2nd place. ha. or in my past. the worst of the 2nd.

However. i was just chilling with gab. and having that stick that i swore i'd nvr have again. and our heart to heart talk. meant a lot. we shared alot. about everything. EVERYTHING. and he's definitly in my heart. as a true friend.

SORRY GAB I DONT DATE FRIENDS. wahhahaha.. my best nyp friend. i heart you!

somehow. everything slows down with just a stick doesnt it. keeps you cool. helps you take a breather and notice what's around you.

well just one stick. the one i swore i'd nvr have again.

Lenny i'll really miss you.
Leza i really wanna see you.
Fafa i still owe you a visit.
Sue i'm ready to take you in just like how everyone else took me in.

We need to go to that dinner and dance and prove to everyone that our bond is stronger than anything else in the world. and no blow no matter how hard it is. will break us. we'll still staystrong together. or so i hope. all i know is you guys are already in my heart. and i want the best for us. the pwp. that was there when i first stepped in. when i first took a glance. when i first saw two girls walk in together on their off day.

yes. they had their off day together.
That was when we smiled innocently. when nothing was happening.

i'll miss you lenny! i'll visit you. i promise.


ps: thanks NAD for asking her to call me though i didnt say a word. i knew it was her when i heard her silly voice. wahahhaha.. WEEEEEE!!!

Just me (eLiz)