Do you every get that feeling like you dont know what you are doing where you are?

eg: "Where am i?" "What am i doing here?" when you're actually on your way to the grocery store.It's right in front of you. But you just cant remember what you went there for.

I get it all the time.

I was watching a dvd my mum bought. It's called the Secret. Secret of life. The values of life. Not moral values. But the value life has in itself. We get by each day as a day itself. Never thinking of the possibilities that make a positive impact. Life. Love life. Social Life. The dvd basically talks about wanting and getting. Prospering in life the way unimaginable to both you and me.

Life is worth so much more than the pennies you earn. It's funny that i'm saying this. Becasue i know, I'd never get anywhere without money. If you want to take a bus and you dont even have that fifty five cents. You're not going anywhere. You're staying where you are.

You're stagnant.

But if you have that fifty five cents or even that bus concession stamp, you my dear are going places you have never been to. The show taught that you get where you are based on what you think. Your mentality defines you. Pessimistic? or Optimistic?

Here's an example from the show. Watching a wealthy man get into his ferrari and what goes through your mind? "Wow, i wish i had one of those." or "I'll get that soon."
It's quite obvious, the pessimism and the optimism.

Basically what i'm saying is simple. You'll never get anywhere if you keep having a negative mentality right? Otherwise you'd be someone who cant make it in life. That phrase, Cant make it in life, was said to me by someone once very special. It's true, you cant get anywhere with an underaged thinking. You'd get somewhere.. Your own backyard.

I guess what i'm saying is i've seen things that have had an impact on me. A great impact. I felt things that people sometimes dont really understand. And i dont want to be like that anymore. Pessimistic mother. All my life i have been trying not to be like her. It's time i step up and say i am who i am. And i will be what can be. and no longer dwell on i'll try to be. I'll try to make it. This time i want and i'll get. I'll reach and i'll find. I'll listen and i'll get the point. I'll watch and i'll learn.

I'm not making the same mistake twice. No one wants to right.

A little precaution to make me feel safe and more confident.
PS:Over your lies and your habits. I'm still not going back into your arms.

Just me (eLiz)