Isnt it funny when you think and you know you've moved on.. the things of hte past still haunt you continuously. When you feel like breaking down or feel like flinging yourself off the buliding. The inertia surging felt by your whole body.

Strength? Way way past that. Non of it left. i am confirmed. Hope? Non too. Future? Dont think much of it. Past? Think about it all the time. No point dwelling on what's past. My coach used to tell me. I wish i was who i was back then. Stronger. Fitter. A fighter.

I no longer have the courage to face things. Not normal things, But things of your heart. Matters concerning your heart. No more strength. no more hope. They say all you have to do is get up and move on. crawl. walk. slowly, you'll learn to run. I want to run. Like how i ran before. Fast like before. Never giving up like before. Past certainly has taught me many things.

But somehow. Just somehow. i learn the hard way all the time. past the smiles and the laughter and the craziness, It's just some child calling out for help? calling for a saviour?

Yet everytime i come so close to stepping out of some kind of barrier, Something pulls me and i have no strength to pull my self up i let go. Falling. Falling. Falling. That's all i can do. Fall deeper. No onecan reach me anymore. The cold hearted person i never wanted to be, I have become. And i cant pull myself out of.

Everything goes down the drain. No one lives without another ones heart. No one goes on. No one reaches a destination. I have reached probably my last check point. The bottom of the pit.

I'm done trying. It's up to someone else who can pull me out. I'm officially giving up.

Just me (eLiz)