your message came in. my ic's still with you. i must say that i'm really trying to be nice to you. you do realise how hard it is right? texting you back. Every single letter i type kills me. crushes me. i dont think about you anymore. isnt that great.

i dont feel you anymore. i dont need you anymore. so all you do now even when you try to be humble and all is crush me. my spirits and my heart. everytime i see your text. flash backs come rushing through me like adrenaline. jsut that it's nothing to be happy about. there's nothing fun about it. it doesnt get me high. it's brings me low.

You suck you now that right. and forgiving you is so hard. i really want to. but thinking of you the slightest bit. makes me sick to my stomach. kill me. just kill me. i'd rather be killed than in the same room as you. seriously. casue all i'd think of when i see your face.. is... something devastating. something not pleasing to ones sight.

it's you.

Whatever it is. i'll try to look at you and take it back. but if i cant.. forgive me. i still cant look at you. i cant talk to you. i cant be near you.

it's hard. i try but... all you do is kill me more and more. even though you dont know it. and you try to make thigns better. better that maybe tmr will be different. maybe she'd come back. but.. i cant forgive you just yet. it's too hard. not that i didnt try. i gave up. it's too hard.

because of you. there's nothing left of me. becasue of you.. i'm in a hole and i'm almost out. but i still wont ever forgive you for waht you did to me.

i still rmb you said ppl i clubs looked despicable. and i said the only thing thats despicable is you. i'm sorry i said that. but. i dont take it back. becasue it's true. you were despicable. and i cant believe i held on to it. to all of it for nothing.

goodbye now. what ever you are. let me continue trying to forgive you.

Just me (eLiz)