i have lived in my far away palace since i was born. Everything i ever did was within those 4 walls.

Recently many things have been happening around my estate and it was put up for en-block. Even though we were supposed to have finalised it.. the woman who was in charge of buying the whole place died.. unfortunately for her. But i'm sorry.. fortunate for me.

Becasue when i realised that the place i have spent my whole life in was about to be taken away from me i took the moments i had there for seriously. and every moment that passed by was just ten time more important than it ever had been before.

Everytime i walked through that car park i knew that the wind was great or the air was perfectly fresh. Walking up the dreaded stairs everyday just made me feel like the luckiest person in the world. But as the world is.. i have more time. i have my time.

This years christmas.. doesnt feel like christmas one bit. it has all passed by real fast.. suming up everything.. poly.. r/s... everything.. thick and thin.. Although i've been through a lot this year.. it all feels like just yesterday that i was sitting for my math o levels.

The christmas tree at home looks great.. as always.. but there's something about all of it.. that makes it feel so sad.. it's like bright yet.. there's this huge emptiness i sense when i look at the tree.

Christmas draws near. That means the birthday draws near. another dreaded day.. my wishful thinking that nxt year will be better.. it's gotta stop.. i've stoped dreaming. birthdays are just a normal day.. right. it just tells you that i'm one year older.

oh well.... blue blue christmas.. in my perfect home. sea breeze.. fresh scent. perfect. every little bit.

Just me (eLiz)